Why Do Kids Have Tantrums and Here's What You Can Do

 

‍Kids have tantrums—whether we like it or not. It’s a natural consequence of their growing up and developing as an individual. These outbursts can be frustrating for parents, as they are often unexpected and inconvenient because they interrupt our day instantly. But what is really going on inside the head of our child when they are throwing a tantrum? Tantrums are a form of non-verbal communication that your child uses to get what they want. They’re also a sign that something is probably going on under the surface that you need to pay attention to. Read here to learn more about why kids have tantrums and what you should do when they do.

 

What to Know About Tantrums

A tantrum is a sudden outburst of uncontrollable and disruptive behavior. These outbursts can happen at any age but are most common among young children aged 2-6 years old. A toddler might have a tantrum when they don’t get what they want or when they feel overwhelmed. Though tantrums are common, they are usually temporary, and most children outgrow them by age 5. 

A tantrum may look like uncontrollable behavior, but it’s important to understand that kids aren’t actually out of control when they’re having a tantrum. Tantrums are a form of non-verbal communication in which your child expresses their emotions through screaming, crying, and flailing. They are not trying to be defiant and get attention. Rather, they are trying to communicate something important and feel helpless without words.

 

Why do kids have tantrums?

There are multiple reasons why kids have tantrums, and parents can help identify and address the root cause of these outbursts by understanding what might be going on inside their child’s head. 

Low frustration tolerance: Some kids are simply impatient and have difficulty tolerating the level of frustration that is an inevitable part of all learning. 

Immaturity: Young children don’t have the same level of impulse control as adults do. They also haven’t yet learned to look at the world through a logical or rational lens. 

Overstimulation: Certain environments or experiences can be overwhelming for kids, such as too much noise, too many people, or not having enough breaks during long periods of play. 

Too much pressure: Kids can feel pressure to perform or behave a certain way, especially when they are under the watchful eyes of adults. 

Lack of a healthy outlet: Kids are constantly exploring and expressing themselves in different ways, but they may not have a healthy outlet for their emotions.

 

How to Respond When Your Child Has a Tantrum

Stay Calm: Your child is looking to you for cues on how to respond to the situation. If you stay calm, your child is less likely to escalate the situation. 

Give your child space to work through the tantrum: Let them know you are there, and you understand that they are upset, but make sure not to get too close or touch them unless they ask you to. 

Remain firm: Avoid giving in to your child’s demands or asking other people to change their expectations of your child. This will only reinforce the tantrum behavior and make it harder to stop in the long term.

Be patient: This is a phase that will pass, so try not to get discouraged. 

Be consistent: Establishing rules and expectations for your child’s behavior early on is the best way to get them to stop having tantrums.

 

The Main Reasons Behind Kids’ Tantrums

Kids tend to throw temper tantrums when they don’t get their own way, when they want something they can’t have, or when they are frustrated by something they can’t do. Tantrums are natural, normal, and, most of all – expected. You don’t need to be a parenting expert or have a Ph.D. in child psychology to know the reasons behind your child’s temper tantrums, but it’s good to know what’s happening inside their little heads. Tantrums are a way for your child to communicate their needs, desires, and frustrations to you. Tantrums are not something to be afraid of. They are something natural, normal, and expected.

Low frustration tolerance: Some kids are simply impatient and have difficulty tolerating the level of frustration that is an inevitable part of all learning. 

Immaturity: Young children don’t have the same level of impulse control as adults do. They also haven’t yet learned to look at the world through a logical or rational lens. 

Overstimulation: Certain environments or experiences can be overwhelming for kids, such as too much noise, too many people, or not having enough breaks during long periods of play. 

Too much pressure: Kids can feel pressure to perform or behave a certain way, especially when they are under the watchful eyes of adults.

 

Strategies For Handling Your Child’s Tantrums

Tantrums are a normal part of child development. They are a sign that your child is learning how to communicate his desires and needs. However, tantrums can be very stressful for both you and your child. There are a few things that you can do to ease the tension and help your child through the tantrum.

• Stay calm. You are modeling your child’s behavior, so make sure that you are setting a positive example.
• Learn to recognize your child’s triggers. Every child has things that cause him to throw a tantrum. You might be able to avoid the situation in the future.
• Give your child choices whenever possible. Children feel more in control when they have a say in their activities. Your child is looking to you for cues on how to respond to the situation. If you stay calm, your child is less likely to escalate the situation. 
• Give your child space to work through the tantrum. Let them know you are there, and you understand that they are upset, but make sure not to get too close or touch them unless they ask you to.
• Avoid giving in to your child’s demands or asking other people to change their expectations of your child. This will only reinforce the tantrum behavior and make it harder to stop in the long term. This is a phase that will pass, so try not to get discouraged. 
• Establishing rules and expectations for your child’s behavior early on is the best way to get them to stop having tantrums.

 

Conclusion

Kids have tantrums—whether we like it or not. It’s a natural consequence of their growing up and developing as an individual. These outbursts can be frustrating for parents, as they are often unexpected and inconvenient because they interrupt our day instantly. But what is really going on inside the head of our child when they are throwing a tantrum? Tantrums are a form of non-verbal communication that your child uses to get what they want. 

They’re also a sign that something is probably going on under the surface that you need to pay attention to. Are your expectations of your child too high? Are they tired or hungry? Has something happened at school or with a friend that they need to process? If you can identify the trigger for your child’s tantrum, you can respond with more compassion and understanding. Follow the above tips and advice to ensure that you interact with them the right way and give them all the help they need to get. Visit Womenwire.com to learn more about how to raise your children and be the best mom you can be.